The practice of serenity starts in Step 3 through the Serenity Prayer. This links serenity directly to acceptance as the most immediate tool which can bring us peace amidst the storms of daily life.
The Serenity Prayer and acceptance do not stand alone, however. They rest on another prayer and another tool which come before them. This is the 3rd Step Prayer (Big Book, p. 63) and the surrender that we begin to practice through it.
In Step 3 we end the war. We give up all resistance and cease all hostilities. We stop fighting God and make peace with him. We accept his terms, which are not unreasonable: we admit that he’s God and we are not. We surrender our will to his and accept his guidance and direction for our life. We start to rest on him, to trust him and to look to him for our peace and our security, confident that we are loved and will be cared for, whatever the circumstances.
Reconciliation with God is the spiritual foundation of our serenity and peace of mind. Acceptance of who he is and who we are make all other acts of acceptance possible. Based on our reconciliation with him, we seek to reconcile to life and to reconcile with others. We embark upon a continuing process of surrender and acceptance through the Steps of self-examination, confession, and restitution.
As we take inventory and admit to our character and emotional defects, and as we become willing to surrender them and pray for their removal, we start to be relieved of the shortcomings and troubled emotions that rob us of all peace. As we become willing to forgive those who have wronged us and make amends to those we have wronged, calm is restored to our heart and harmony to our relationships.
It is as we take these steps and walk along the path toward reconciliation that AA makes one of its most comforting promises: “We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace” (Big Book, pp. 83–84).
[Image: Bill W. and Dr. Bob, with the Serenity Prayer in the background.]